Capitol Improv

As almost everyone from our group now knows, I share a birthday with a rather infamous holiday – April Fools day. While I have had many birthday pranks played on me before, this – by far – was the best one ever done.

For those of you who don’t know, Lindsey Boyle (our other admin) kicked me from the group to send out a message without my knowledge to send me birthday greetings all throughout today.  As of this posting, I currently have over 156 text messages, and 6 voicemails  from the group saying happy birthday.

I woke up today to the sound of my phone’s text message indication going of literally non-stop for 15 minutes. There was no pause between the end of the ringtone and the beginning for the duration of that period. At first I thought it was an SMS forwarding service and wasn’t all to impressed, but after I realized that each text represented a member of Capitol Improv, I was quite flattered and impressed!

Thank you for all of the birthday greetings. Here are the day’s posts:

This was my actual voicemail inbox:

(301) 10:33 am
Happy birthday bruce!

(310) 10:34 am
Feliz cumplanos Bruce! Ten buen dia!

(818) 10:34 am
Wishing u happy birthday, Bruce!

(703) 10:34 am
Happy birthday Bruce!

(703) 10:35 am
Hey man! Happy b day! Go get some before you get too old!

(301) 10:35 am
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRUCE!

(845) 10:35 am
Happy birthday!

(386) 10:36 am
Happy bday little boy!!!!!

(202) 10:36 am
Happy birthday!

(610) 10:36 am
Happy bday! Hope It’s awesome

(330) 10:37 am
Happy Birthday Bruce!!!

(240) 10:37 am
Happy Birthday, Bruce! I hope it’s a great one!

(716) 10:37 am
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRUCE!

(240) 10:37 am
Happy birthday bro!!!

(309) 10:38 am
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRUCE!

(973) 10:38 am
Happiee birffdaeee!

(206) 10:38 am
Bruce! Happy birthday! Have a great one. Sorry i’m not there.

(646) 10:39 am
Merry bday. You’re old.

(202) 10:39 am
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRUCEß

(202) 10:39 am
Happy birthday Brucie!!!! Lemme kno about the party babes!

(205) 10:39 am
Happy Birthday Bruce! May all your wildest dreams come true.

(571) 10:41 am
Happy birthday bruce! Have a good one, love ya buddy!

(571) 10:41 am
Happy birthday bruce your the man

(480) 10:42 am
Happy birthday brucey! Miss ya much!

(603) 10:43 am
Happy birthday Bruce!

(650) 10:43 am
Happy Birthday!

(510) 10:43 am
Happy birthday big bruiser!

(202) 10:44 am
Baby, you were amazing last night. I loved that thing you do with your toes. Enjoy your special, special Birthday and call me next time you’re at Hooters. Kate

(305) 10:44 am
There was something i need to tell you today, can’t remember what it is though. Oh yeah!!! Happy birthday!

(919) 10:44 am
Happy fucking birthday, Bruce!!!!!

(703) 10:44 am
Oh herro! Hope u have a fantastic birthday! U deserve it!

(443) 10:45 am
Feliz cumpleanos bruce!!! Have a wonderful bday!

(703) 10:45 am
Happy birthday, baaaaabyyyyy! You gettin’ so OLD!

(267) 10:45 am
Happy Birthday Bruce!

(540) 10:45 am
Feliz cumpleanos. Gracias por la buen tiempo en mexico!

(865) 10:46 am
Happy Birthday i hope you have a great day dude!

(301) 10:46 am
Bruce i am your father… So happy birthday.

(703) 10:46 am
Bruce! Happy bday. Sorry i cant make it to the party. Hope you have a good one anyways! Also. I got a new phone!

(240) 10:47 am
Happy birthday, man.

(503) 10:47 am
Happy birthday from oregon bruce!

(202) 10:47 am
Happy birthday, Bruce! Hope you’re having a great one.

(703) 10:47 am
Happy birthday mofo

(240) 10:48 am
Happy Birthday Bruce! I hope it’s a good one =D

(202) 10:48 am
Happy Birthday Bruce!

(301) 10:48 am
Hey, happy birthday!!

(914) 10:48 am
Happy bday buddy!

(515) 10:50 am
Happy happy bday! What are the plans tonite?

(443) 10:51 am
Bon anniversaire!!

(218) 10:51 am
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

(571) 10:51 am
A very happy birthday to ya, Bruce!

(240) 10:52 am
Omg i wuv you bruce! Happy birthday!

(314) 10:54 am
Hey man, happy birthday. Almost forgot, yo. But then I didn’t.

(785) 10:54 am
Happy birthday Bruce; thanks for all you do.

(804) 10:55 am
Happy fuckin bday bitch

(704) 10:57 am
Happy birthday!! Xoxoxo

(571) 10:58 am
Happy birthday!!!

(410) 10:58 am
Hey happy birthday bruce! We’re here for you. I know it’s tough but stay strong!

(703) 10:59 am
Hey man happy birthday!

(267) 11:03 am
Yo yo yooo brucey! Happy birthday, dude, don’t get TOO fucked up tonight ha ha jk have a great one!

(612) 11:03 am
Bruce! Happy birthday, yo!

(240) 11:03 am
Yo Bruce, happy birthday dude…dont get plastered like you did last time!

(703) 11:04 am
Happy birthday, Bruce! Did you get the stripper-gram yet?

(704) 11:06 am
Happy birthday bruce!!!

(703) 11:06 am
Happy birthday Bruce!

(202) 11:07 am
What an amazing year!!!! I am so proud of you and all you have accomplish. You really can do ANYTHING. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRUCE!

(860) 11:07 am
Happy Birthday Bruce!!!!!!!

(703) 11:10 am
I hope your birthday is horrible. April fools! Happy birthday <3

(435) 11:13 am
Happy birthday, Bruce! Hope it’s a great one!

(508) 11:14 am
Have a great one, B-Dog! I’ll always remember our afternoon together.

(202) 11:14 am
Feliz cumpleaqos Bruce! Te deseo todo lo mejor!

(703) 11:14 am
Happy burfday Bruce!

(703) 11:16 am
Thinking of you on your special day! wish we could celebrate like the ol days

(267) 11:19 am
Omg! Way to be old! Happy birthday Bruce!

(813) 11:19 am
May today be a great day of celebration for your escape from the womb! Happy birthday!

(828) 11:20 am
The internet is telling me it’s your Birthday. Yay!

(703) 11:22 am
Happy birthday bruce!!

(703) 11:22 am
The offical birthday commite wishes you a very happy birthday and many more!
Live, Laugh, Love

(201) 11:22 am
Happy birthday, homie!

(443) 11:23 am
Ha-p b-daaaaaayyyyyy!!!!!

(941) 11:23 am
Another year closer to a dirt nap Bruce! Happy B Day

(703) 11:25 am
Happy birthday bruce! Def a fan of the capitol improv!

(706) 11:27 am
Hey Bruce, totally just realized its your birthday. Hope its an epic one!

(917) 11:29 am
Happy birthday, Bruce. Hope it’s a great one!

(443) 11:31 am
Happy Birthday B!

(410) 11:35 am
Happy Birthday, Brucie Baby!

(757) 11:40 am
\-\4ppy Burfday Bruce – from DC Defenestrators

(574) 11:43 am
Happy birthday man

(571) 11:44 am
Happy birthday bruce!

(202) 11:45 am
Happy birthday dude. It’s been a long time!!!

(908) 11:46 am
Hey bruce! Happy bday dog

(713) 11:51 am
To one of my most favourite people in this planet, have a very happy birthday! Like, totally, dude! Woot!

(703) 11:54 am
Tanjyoobi omedetou gozaimasu Burusukun!

(540) 11:54 am
Happy birthday bruce!!!

(214) 12:00 pm
Happy birthday bruce! Hope you have a great day!!

(202) 12:04 pm
Happy birthday, dude! It’s actually mine as well–hope your day is as good as mine has been.

(973) 12:06 pm
Happy BD Bruce!!

(703) 12:08 pm
Happy birthday, hotness!

(301) 12:08 pm
Happy Birthday, Bitchez!

(410) 12:09 pm
Happy happy birthday birthday

(443) 12:09 pm
Happy Birthday, bro!

(703) 12:10 pm
Happy birthday bruce! Way to last another year sweetcheeks

(240) 12:10 pm
Happy birthday mo fo. I love u man.

(202) 12:10 pm
hey big B-happy birthday!!

(503) 12:16 pm
Happy bday Bruce!

(443) 12:17 pm
Hope your birthday is better than steak and bj day! Have a good one.

(703) 12:18 pm
Happy Bird Day, Bruce!

(240) 12:19 pm
Bruce, happy birthday man! You just keep getting older and older haha. Have a good birthday sir!

(570) 12:20 pm
Happy birthday hombre!!!

(571) 12:22 pm
Happy Birthday Bruce!!!! A big smooch from me. Hope you day/year is perfect!!

(703) 12:31 pm
Happy birthday Bruce!!!!

(202) 12:37 pm
Happy birthday, brah!

(202) 12:38 pm
Omgggg! Happy fuckin birthdayyy! I hope you get everything you wanted and more! You deserve it

(732) 12:40 pm
You would have ur bday on April fools. Have a good one! – duct tape waldo

(917) 12:41 pm
Dude happy birthday!

(417) 12:43 pm
Happy Birthday Bruce! Make a great day!!

(434) 12:43 pm
Dude i just remembered it was your birthday! Happy birthday man.

(352) 12:52 pm
Happy Birfday, Brucie!! I hope you have a blast )

(301) 1:02 pm
Happy bday bruce! I hope u enjoy ur special day! Much love

(202) 1:04 pm
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR BRUCE HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUU! -love, kat

(240) 1:05 pm
Cumpleanos a ti !

(314) 1:06 pm
Happy Birthday dude!

(505) 1:26 pm
Hey Bruce! Happy birthday man!

(240) 1:38 pm
Happy Birthday Bruce!! I can’t wait to celebrate with you later tonight!

(703) 1:53 pm
Hey man! Happy birthday big guy!

(571) 1:59 pm
Happy Birthday, dude! Hope it’s awesome!

(301) 2:03 pm
Happy b-day!

(571) 2:04 pm
We goin’ to party like its your birthday! We goin’ drink bacarti like its your birthday! And we don’t give a f-k cuz its your birthday! ~HaPpY bIrThDaY bRuCe!~

(202) 2:14 pm
Happy birthday bruce

(703) 2:21 pm
Hey man, happy birthday! We need to go do something legendary for it bro!

(571) 2:22 pm
Brucey my dear friend, happy birthday. I hope your day is memorable!

(703) 2:23 pm
Happy Birthday!!!!! <3

(703) 2:23 pm
Bruce! dude! happy birthday man. sorry i cant be at you’re party, but have fun without me anyways.

(505) 2:24 pm
Happy birthday buddy!

(571) 2:31 pm
Happy Birthday Brucey

(410) 2:33 pm
Congrats your parents boned and had you. Happy birthday!

(703) 2:33 pm
happiee birffdaeee!

(703) 2:36 pm
THE BRUCE IS LOOSE!! hahaha do you remember that? happy birthday man, but this year keep your junk out of the fish bowl!

(301) 2:39 pm
Happy Beerday Bruce!!!

(703) 2:43 pm
Happy birthday? Yeee

(240) 3:21 pm
Hey bruce! Happy bday bud. Have a great one ps- the family says hi

(916) 3:24 pm
Alles gut zum geburtstag, bruce!

(703) 3:39 pm
Happy Birthday broheim!!!!

(443) 3:47 pm
Happy birthday Bruuuce!

(703) 4:24 pm
Hey dude, happy birthday!!!

(703) 5:08 pm
good job on surviving another year without dying bruce!

(301) 5:16 pm
Happy birthday dude have a great day

(443) 5:25 pm
Happy birthday man!

(202) 5:41 pm
yo happy bday bro

(703) 7:19 pm
Happy birthday bruce i ordered u some strippers 4 ur birthday! enjoy lol

(301) 1:27 pm
Happy birthday! Party like i would. We goin out tonight?

(301) 7:25 pm
I will take your birthday spankings if you don’t want them

(301) 7:26 pm
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUDDD! It’s gonna be a good one.

(301) 7:34 pm
Hey hun happy birthday!

(404) 8:01 pm
Hey brother, sorry I couldn’t make your party, got work all night. Maybe I’ll see you at Cobalt this weekend.

(301) 11:04 am
Happy Birthday, douchebag!!!!
I hope your day is filled with lots of hot anal actionm

(315) 9:02 pm
Hapfie bday rockstar! Look forward to our trip to india next week. Nan

(847) 9:31 pm
Whenever i think of parachuting bunnies or fairies in sombreros, i think of you. Birthday!!! you!! NOW!!!

(703) 12:00 pm
Happy Birthday, Bruce!!!!!!! <3!!!

(703) 9:41 pm
I hope that by now you are drunk and hanging out with some hot chicks. Or at least having a Star Wars marathon.

(301) 10:12 pm
happy day of birthing Bruce!!!

(540) 10:42 pm
BRUUUUUUUUUCE, happy birthday!

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